Mental Graph to figure out how NOT to say the wrong thing to the wrong people

It isn't easy to figure out what to say when someone is really hurting.  So this article from the LA Times attempts at a mental guide for folks to navigate this minefield.

TL; DR - this diagram shows a set of concentric circles expanding from the center.  Place the aggrieved in the midde of this set of circles.  And place the next most effected person/people in the next circle out.  Now place yourself in to this graph.   You can kvetch to people farther from the center than you but you can only comfort those closer than you to the center.   (This relates to my other post - "What not to say")

That's it.

If you think it isn't "fair" that you can't say "This (cancer) isn't just about you (person suffering from cancer." to the person suffering from cancer.

Don't worry.

You'll definitely get your chance to be at the center.